Parents can respond to children in two main ways. One makes them angry or upset when children do not listen to them in addition to making you a resentful parent. The other one is the in which parents respond in a patient manner. So instead of fighting with the children, they choose to understand and look at things from an empathetic view. For instance, if the child shows interest in riding on the remote control cars, parents will allow them to do so in a regulated manner. In simple words, you can have two types of impact on children; one could be positive and second may be negative.
If you happen to lose the temperament with children or if you know someone who does that, it is necessary to know the underlying emotions which may be driving their behavior. According to the experts, a sense of grief, fear of the unknown and shame are the three main negative drivers of low temperamental control. As a result, parents tend to blame other when they feel stuck in a difficult situation with children. However, if you have never experienced these emotions, it may happen due to the dominance of the anger in your head. Another consequence of rage is that you tend to undermine the love and bond with the child rather than valuing it. Likewise, if your children throw tantrums or show anger, they may forget about the good parts of the relationship with you and this makes it threatening for the relationships.
Of course, it is not possible to remain calm, but if you try to control your abrupt reaction or take the time to respond to the child, you can save yourself from regret. Similarly, if you think of the causes of anger and its long-term consequences, you will realize that half of the reasons may not even matter to you five years down the memory lane. Likewise, accepting the failures or mistakes provides you with the patience to go through the tough times. Moreover, think about the parenting strategy mentioned above in form of taking the high road or overlooking the mistakes made by your children to clear the air or give them space. It may not generate desired outcomes right away, but you child will realize the significance and wisdom of this strategy.
If you are able to take note of your emotions in terms of keeping in check the negative sentiments, you may be in a position to practice mindfulness. The idea is that you attempt to be mindful in terms of maintaining your control and preventing the situation that could escalate it. For instance, if you feel stuck in the threatening scenario, you can choose to divert the attention or take measures to keep yourself calm. Likewise, you can take a moment to reply to other rather reacting immediately. The main purpose is to decide on the right course of action.
It is often seen that parents tend to mix patience and tolerance with something that would require them to suppress feelings. For example, you may have to control emotions in certain situations, especially in which you are not expected to show your sentiments, however, if you keep cluttering points of irritation in your heart and mind, you may burst out one day, In other words, the more you bottle up your emotions, the more frustrated you are likely to feel. This is not to say that getting angry all the time will help. But if you learn to express feeling in a way which would not hurt the feelings of others, it may make it easy for you to release negative energy.
If you have the habit of threatening the child to get things done, you may want to change it. Experts are of the view that if you use threats to frighten the child in form of coercing, it will directly weaken your relationship with the child. And chances are you may not be able to repair it in the long term. The idea is you determine the contours of the relationship by the way you treat your child and if it is driven by threats, you may want to change it. This is not to say that boundaries or rules are not important, however, if you coerce the child, you make the matter worst by nurturing negative feeling in your children.
If you feel out of control in terms of managing the emotions, you may want to avoid interaction with children or your loved ones. Some of the people tend to leave the room, which can prove effective to relax or help in changing the state of mind. If you see children doing something that gets under your skin, you can choose to take a pause. It may be difficult, but determination can facilitate you in this regard. If you think of something relaxing, it may de-escalate things in terms of giving you the charge of sentiments
Learn From Past Mistakes
People are generally inclined to react in situations rather than taking the time to absorb them. However, if you push yourself to review the past mistakes or similar situations in which you lost temperament, you will come to realize how futile it can be. And if you are interested in making a change, you can start from learning the lessons. For instance, you can try new techniques in order to find the best response. Moreover, if you show restraint, you can assess the results to adopt new characteristics or develop them in your personality. Similarly, you can recommend the same technique to your children.
To put simply, it may seem simplistic to you in terms of narrowing the parenting styles in two main types, the proactive one, and the passive one, but it may make it easy for the new parents to comprehend the situation and in terms of making the choice. If you take the high road, the parenting can become good for you.