Parents can respond to children in two main ways. One
makes them angry or upset when children do not listen to them in addition to
making you a resentful parent. The other one is the in which parents respond in
a patient manner. So instead of fighting with the children, they choose to
understand and look at things from an empathetic view. For instance, if the
child shows interest in riding on the remote control cars, parents will allow
them to do so in a regulated manner. In simple words, you can have two types of
impact on children; one could be positive and second may be negative.
If you happen to lose the temperament with children or if
you know someone who does that, it is necessary to know the underlying emotions
which may be driving their behavior. According to the experts, a sense of
grief, fear of the unknown and shame are the three main negative drivers of low
temperamental control. As a result, parents tend to blame other when they feel
stuck in a difficult situation with children. However, if you have never
experienced these emotions, it may happen due to the dominance of the anger in
your head. Another consequence of rage is that you tend to undermine the love
and bond with the child rather than valuing it. Likewise, if your children
throw tantrums or show anger, they may forget about the good parts of the
relationship with you and this makes it threatening for the relationships.
Of course, it is not possible to remain calm, but if you
try to control your abrupt reaction or take the time to respond to the child,
you can save yourself from regret. Similarly, if you think of the causes of
anger and its long-term consequences, you will realize that half of the reasons
may not even matter to you five years down the memory lane. Likewise, accepting
the failures or mistakes provides you with the patience to go through the tough
times. Moreover, think about the parenting strategy mentioned above in form of
taking the high road or overlooking the mistakes made by your children to clear
the air or give them space. It may not generate desired outcomes right away,
but you child will realize the significance and wisdom of this strategy.
Mindfulness
If you are able to take note of your emotions in terms of
keeping in check the negative sentiments, you may be in a position to practice
mindfulness. The idea is that you attempt to be mindful in terms of maintaining
your control and preventing the situation that could escalate it. For instance,
if you feel stuck in the threatening scenario, you can choose to divert the
attention or take measures to keep yourself calm. Likewise, you can take a
moment to reply to other rather reacting immediately. The main purpose is to
decide on the right course of action.
Accept Feelings
It is often seen that parents tend to mix patience and
tolerance with something that would require them to suppress feelings. For
example, you may have to control emotions in certain situations, especially in
which you are not expected to show your sentiments, however, if you keep
cluttering points of irritation in your heart and mind, you may burst out one
day, In other words, the more you bottle up your emotions, the more frustrated
you are likely to feel. This is not to say that getting angry all the time will
help. But if you learn to express feeling in a way which would not hurt the
feelings of others, it may make it easy for you to release negative energy.
Threats
If you have the habit of threatening the child to get
things done, you may want to change it. Experts are of the view that if you use
threats to frighten the child in form of coercing, it will directly weaken your
relationship with the child. And chances are you may not be able to repair it
in the long term. The idea is you determine the contours of the relationship by
the way you treat your child and if it is driven by threats, you may want to
change it. This is not to say that boundaries or rules are not important,
however, if you coerce the child, you make the matter worst by nurturing
negative feeling in your children.
Impatience
If you feel out of control in terms of managing the emotions, you may want to avoid interaction with children or your loved ones.
Some of the people tend to leave the room, which can prove effective to relax
or help in changing the state of mind. If you see children doing something that
gets under your skin, you can choose to take a pause. It may be difficult, but
determination can facilitate you in this regard. If you think of something
relaxing, it may de-escalate things in terms of giving you the charge of
sentiments
Learn From Past Mistakes
People are generally inclined to react in situations
rather than taking the time to absorb them. However, if you push yourself to
review the past mistakes or similar situations in which you lost temperament,
you will come to realize how futile it can be. And if you are interested in
making a change, you can start from learning the lessons. For instance, you can
try new techniques in order to find the best response. Moreover, if you show
restraint, you can assess the results to adopt new characteristics or develop
them in your personality. Similarly, you can recommend the same technique to
your children.
To put simply, it may seem simplistic to you in terms of
narrowing the parenting styles in two main types, the proactive one, and the
passive one, but it may make it easy for the new parents to comprehend the
situation and in terms of making the choice. If you take the high road, the
parenting can become good for you.
